Four and a half years ago I asked someone if he'd heard of a Swami Radha who I said was still with him (on a spiritual level.) I'd never heard of her; I thought Swami Radha was a man who was a teacher from/in India. Now I sleep with her most prized possession beside me. The level of synchronicity in my life demonstrates to me that there is definitely a level of organization beyond what we acknowledge in the society I grew up in.

the f word: forgiveness
The h word: heaven
Thank you for saving me from a broken heart
I miss you Bristol and Glastonbury and London too

Nicholas, Duck! Why didn't anyone see it coming?

wake up to your morning alarm!

Alarm: fear, panic, distress and that's the way we're cued to start our day, adrenal rush: will I make it, will I make it on time, will I be presentable? don't ever unwind until your ready to submerge your mind into unconsciousness at day's end.

and the opposite of hate is...

and while we're at it the root of all evil is....? Money? the lack of money?
or as a fellow writer of mine would have it: love is the root of all evil. His reasoning? If we didn't love, we wouldn't hate.
aahhh...but isn't that confusing desire with love...? I think that if we didn't desire power we wouldn't hate... so, possibly the intense desire for power that we shoudn't have (power over others) is the root of all evil and the cause of hate.... thus making contentment the opposite of hate.
I truly believe that love has no opposite
loneliness is not the opposite of love (if anything love lends itself to expression in loneliness), and separation is not the opposite of love (it's even been said that it increases love, or at least one's appreciation of love.)

today like there's no tomorrow

that's how it is when the crux comes to bear, when the shit hits the fan, when the ball is in your court and comin' way too fast; this is how it is when the hard knocks of this is how it is according to you fall on your head
This is how it is when it is how I THINK IT IS
WHERE NO NO GOOD GOD LUCK COMES

On the fourth night after the Ascenscion of St. Germaine to the central sun of causality for our solar system---synchro systems
Why am I not celebrating?
yeah, I am going to go sing and light a fire and do good things and think with my soul and not just my head
today like there's no tomorrow I need fear

compassion fatigue

wandering down Granville Street on the way home from work and there are more poor people than ever with the truly desperate look in their eyes---I know from my work the effects of this government's policies of no longer including eyecare in health care so people can't even see to get a job, of not giving any bus passes so people don't have transportation to get a job or education or find housing etc. This is a government, supported by the majority of B.C.ers apparently, who as far as I can tell, think that helping people is for the weak; it's throwing good money away, wasting it on the undeserving. Who are the real losers?
As I know well from my work there are compassionate and helpful, hardworking people among the poor and desperate and there are people who have nothing going on but their own self-interest and that's usually misguided (just like this government's policies are---creating far more problems by not dealing with them).
How can I survive in such a world without being consumed by frustrated rage at the selfishness, or having my heart torn out at the needless suffering?
And aren't these questions as common as the dust?
and lead inevitably to the question---does g-d exist, and if g-d exists, how can such suffering exist? But imagine g-d is a verb, not a thing, but "a great illimitable happening" ;therefore, compassion is always being, must be being created anew as part of the nature of g-d
/godding/godessingg/godsing. And any lack of compassion on our part is simply dis-ease in the body of g-des.
If we help each other to move out of suffering then we are creating the milk of human kindness which is a part of the compassion of All that Is. We can't solve the need to create compassion, we might not even be able to eliminate poverty, we can only respond to the need in the best way that we can...

5th dimension travel cuts

if we think of this space/time as a moving conveyor belt than stepping onto another one by changing our angle slightly is traveling fifth dimensionally... sometimes the juncture is so smooth we don't even notice, sometimes we have to consciously change our attitude (beliefs/reaction) so that our angle of approach to the runway changes and instead of being stuck in a fog we can take off for our true destination.
yes, the conveyor belt just became a runway; hey sisters and brothers this is star travel we are talking about (5 dime/pentagon time)
ever have a blow-out with someone you love, and then you get uplifted some way, just like the clouds clearing, and later you look back and wonder what that was all about---that version of reality doesn't even seem likely or believeable anymore. Or your luck suddenly changes, or could be what seemed to be a deadend suddenly opens up into a new vista, it's all 5 time. What happened could be you got picked up while hitch hiking, a little cosmic grace ride, or maybe you or someone close to you provided the wings.
5th dimensional travel---the shortcut to where you want to be

What to wear

With a white linen suit, I am very tempted to wear a large round summer sunhat---perhaps I shall, for lunch. Otherwise, I think a veil, not for the veiling effect but to trail down the back of my hair.
I still haven't figured out how to solve the need for gold and jewels to wear in order to complete the outfit...
I think I shall have to ask my Mother.

This proves that I can write an utterly mundane blog despite the angels whirling round in my mind---the most important thing is that my soul and my mind should expand themselves to be large enough for me to be fully present in, and to do that I truly need to understand what a present this is to myself.

The theme of my most recent blogs seems to be reminders I need to post to myself, but they may serve for others to bat around too.

there are angels like giant bears at the root of the arth

Well, you know what I mean don't you? One of the things I love about this is that there are people who have learned the frequency (vibration voice range/ sounds) to communicate with them; I notice, however, that some of the people I've heard who can do this seem to have no idea what they are doing and do it just because it sounds cool. Wonder what would happenif we really learned to talk

Ive always claimed my face looks better if viewed in more than three dimensions; likewise, if you ask me, my life makes very little sense seen from the point of view of only four dimensions
---give me five as the bare minimum if you want to try to understand what on earth I am up to!
In my experience, we are all living more that one life at once

debate with geisha guygirl

having a debate with an acquaintance of mine who works as a "geisha" about what is or isn't degrading (she says it's her friends comments that her work is degrading that are degrading to her) leads me to the conclusion that what matters is whether you are doing something of your own free will. And I say we must all become Defenders of Our Free Will or we cowardly succumb to doing everything else.
I publish this as a reminder to myself... and hereby award myself an initiation to the Order of True Love (because what we truly all want to do of course is what we love).

now attempting to bblog...in blogspace...unfolding personal communications capsule...what is a mind when it is not a mind? just fooling...threw that in because I thot it sounded kewl...
sometimes I wander through my mind wondering about all the broken connections..are they really ever broken...by their very nature no, since we are them..but where do they go...swinging through space? for little space monkeys to drop by and travel on..whhheee
fro those of you who thot I was going to get boring and entirely normalll and domesticated in my old age... I think the anszer is nnnnnnooohhhh, notice sense of humour getting weirder all the time...

space monkeys...you think your mind is entirely your own? no, it is a playground for little space monkeys...jumping around, looking for coco nuts and bananannas to peel. Our minds are porous really open on the inside even more than on the outside. Inside where the universe is free to be its truly amazingly expansive self, expanding through you...and me. Becoming bigger and more spacious all the time...breathe, sigh, breathe and feel it happening, take it in a little...sip by sip of so tintillating tasty tingling vvibrating real becoming...
well it's Moonday...less spacey tomorrow. "hello I must be going and I only came to say, I heard your mMother calling but I must be on my way.... ooohhh, I remember it all from before
why each precious flower, why each moment has its hour ...it's You, it's all true"
(special prize to be awarded for identification of slightly garbled quote)

the existence of the universe

why does the universe exist? Theoretically matter and anti-matter would be created in equal amounts and cancel each other out...

Likewise, in terms that make more sense to me, chaos and destruction could easily equal order and creation (I know what you're thinking---destruction could easily outstrip creation, boom, boom, boom, but with nothing to destroy, destruction is lost...right? and I know I'm never supposed to have one long dash without another but you figure out where I could've inserted one cuz I don't know!) Or at the very least the universe would exist just as a blip---created, destroyed, created, destroyed, created...---and I have heard it seriously posited that this is what happens.

However, in any scenario, including our lives, I believe it is consciousness that makes the difference, that manages to shift the balance---consciousness creates a higher order or reality and consciousness is the urge within nothingness that always gives birth to somethingness.

Likewise, it seems to be that it is the process of consciousness (it should be a verb not a noun---consciousnessing, co-choice-sing?) that makes us capable of some level of free will (conscious co-operation in favour of consciousness or in the case of evil, not).

All that I am trying to say here is that without the hard work of consciousnesssing to create the joy, the zing, the clarity and understanding that consciousness brings nothing would exist or be worth existing for...

claimed by the shadow

as long as we do not claim our power, we are living in our own shadow...

classic sci-fi quiz now up

The aim of the game is to identify the author and book, or short story (only one) that is quoted…classic sci-fi means no fantasy, and nothing that has not survived the test of time. I want to say that, sadly, Theodore Sturgeon is missing from this list; if anyone ever wants to donate me a copy of his novel “God’s Body”, then please do… Olaf Stapleton is likewise missing….The local libraries no longer seem to have these which leads me to think that we need a campaign to bring back classic speculative literature which is, after all, the literature of ideas….
Also, I couldn’t get my hands or cursor on anything from Marg Piercy’s Woman on the Edge of Time, or Suzette Hagin Elgin’s Native Tongue, an amazing book revolving around the subject of linguistics and the power vested in the use of language.
In fact, you will find that this list is comprised of the tried and true and probably familiar…

On with the show, this is it…

1. “No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man’s and yet as mortal as his own…as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water.”
2. “Bottle of mine, it's you I've always wanted!Bottle of mine, why was I ever decanted?Skies are blue inside of youThe weather's always fine;ForThere ain't no Bottle in all the worldLike that dear little Bottle of mine”
3. "All men hate the wretched; how then, must I be hated, who am miserable beyond all living things! Yet you, my creator, detest and spurn me, thy creature, to whom thou art bound by ties only dissoluble by the annihilation of one of us."
4. “We believe— it is only a theory— that the Overmind Is trying to grow, to extend its powers and its awareness of the universe. By now it must be the sum of many races, and long ago it left the tyranny of matter behind. It is conscious of intelligence, everywhere. When it knew that you were almost ready, it sent us here to do its bidding, to prepare you for the transformation that is now at hand.All the earlier changes your race has known took countless ages. But this is a transformation of the mind, not of the body. By the standards of evolution, it will be cataclysmic— instantaneous. It has already begun.”
5. “Silently Brother Francis untied the package and unwrapped the original blueprint and the illuminated commemoration thereof…The robber’s craggy jaw dropped an inch. He whistled softly. “What a pretty! Now wouldn’t the woman like that to hang on the cabin wall!…What is it, the robber asked, a charm?”…Uh---Transistorized Control System for Unit Six-B,” the monk stammered.”

6. "You're not like the others. I've seen a few; I know. When I talk, you look at me. When I said something about the moon, you looked at the moon, last night. The others would never do that. The others would walk off and leave me talking. Or threaten me. No one has time any more for anyone else. You're one of the few who put up with me. That's why I think it's so strange you're a fireman, it just doesn't seem right for you, somehow."
7. “It is not my way to grant you any foreknowledge in these recordings, but it would be safe to indicate that what you have now achieved is merely a new balance---though one in which your position is considerably better. The Spiritual Power, while sufficient to ward off attacks of the Temporal, is not sufficient to attack in return. Because of the invariable growth of the counteracting force known as Regionalism, or Nationalism, the Spiritual Power cannot prevail.”

8. “For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? … Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think.”
9. “He became aware that there was another living creature in the room with him. A granddaddy longlegs was making a futile journey down from the ceiling, spinning as it went. Smith watched it with delight and wondered if it was a nestling form of man.”
10. "Much that was called religion has carried an unconscious attitude of hostility toward life. True religion must teach that life is filled with joys pleasing to the eye of God, that knowledge without action is empty. All men must see that the teaching of religion by rules and rote is largely a hoax. The proper teaching is recognized with ease. You can know it without fail because it awakens within you that sensations which tells you this is something you've always known.”
11. “Well, then, that is the thing at the top of all bodies---so fast that it is at rest, so truly body that it has ceased being body at all. But we will not talk of that. Start from where we are, Small One. The swiftest thing that touches our senses is light. We do not truly see light, we only see slower things lit by it, so that for us light is on the edge---the last thing we know before things become too swift for us. But the body of an eldil is a movement swift as light…”

12. “If you find your life tangled up with somebody else’s life for no very logical reasons, that person may be a member of your karass..."
13. “For those stars were no stars at all! They were man-made objects---and very likely they were artifacts of those mysterious Southern ancestors. Perhaps they were even the actual vehicles that had brought those ancestors…in the beginning.”

14. "If a person who indulges in gluttony is a glutton, and a person who commits a felony is a felon, then God is an iron.."

15. "they'd put them in cages, and torment them with maze and electric-shock experiments, and kill a few for dissection, or maybe not bother killing them first. On his own land, if they did anything like that, he could do something about it...I'll have to remind you again, though, that you're to treat these little people with consideration..."

classic sci-fi quiz

to those whom I have promised this quiz... let it be known that the authors, books, and quotes have been found and will be published very soon (I picked classic for starters just to narrow the field a little.)

btw, the peculiar travelling suggestions line in the previous post is one of them...

Wap-pisk-ki-kakiw-isqueo

that movie Harold and Maude gave me the creeps in the beginning where they go to the funeral of someone they've never met--- thank goodness I would never do a thing like that... unless... I happened to re-discover one of my favourite quotes:
“Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.” on the same day that laying right in front of me is a poster for the memorial service for a
woman with almost the same Cree name as me, ... and I start getting the feeling that I should go...but, luckily I forget all about it... until the next day when I am randomly pulling pieces of paper from my bag and out it comes, and I feel those little flutterings by my shoulder (I've always 100% found that real messages from spirit are offered, given to us; there is no sense of being forced or seduced or ordered to do something), but really I don't want to go hang out with a bunch of strangers who might look at me suspiciously (for good reason---they really haven't ever seen me before) and what if the people I sit beside are uncomfortable with me, and besides I am supposed to be writing today and I've been looking forward to it etc....So, I decide to go for a run and think about it (which pretty much guarantees I'll be too late to go, but I'm not admitting that to myself...) I get across the street, and there is a t.v. sitting by the sidewalk with piece of cardboard on top that says "free and it works". Well, someone in my household has been wishing for a t.v. for a while now, and I blew the last free offer of one. However, this is one big t.v. set, and I'm not even sure I can carry it across the busy street, but it just seems meant to be. Surprisingly. the traffic clears long enough for me to stop looking and make it across then my landlord leaps out of his car where he was leaving for work, and helps me in the gate and up the stairs. By the time I get inside, my knees are shaking, so no run, and I decide this gift is probably another suggestion for me to give-away to spirit, and if I don't think about it too much I can probably do this, although I admit I did curse myself a bit for being such an idiot, but you've probably guessed by now, I am very grateful that I went....I got to sit by two sweet-natured sisters who are lovely singers, one of them a teacher that I knew from Native Ed. and the service was a tribute to a woman that founded a very successful helping lodge for women, particularily those who suffered from violence in their lives. I was very happy I was able to go and honour her spirit and help her along her way (she was a having a little bit of a hard time letting go because so many people had been attached to having her brightness, lightness, and kindness around.) Not only did she help a lot of people but she travelled and had lots of fun....
And I learned the meaning of my name and kind of how to pronounce it in Cree!
And my heart opened a little bit more, and I got some good lessons, as she was passing over, from my sister in spirit--- All My Relations!

how every visit to the beach by yourself becomes iconic, whatever object you pick up, as if the waves were lapping at your soul and saying remember...remember...remember... a rock, a seashell, a bird's flight, something in us secretly awakens and speaks to us... in my case this morning a rusted hinge with a spring along the centre like a butterfly with wings stuck open... I don't know what it means but it wanted to come home with me.... the post I was going to write was about Starbuck whos sits by the corner selling his newspaper of prophecies and revelations done he believes in the spirit of Isaiah, I met him a long time a go at First United in the downtown Eastside when he was younger and more cheerful; the last time he saw me he glared at me from behind his sunglasses because I nodded and smiled at him as if he was just one of us---even when he was young and cheerful he felt separate, special and this is a real problem I've noticed for people when they come into awareness of their connection with g_d, and something that scares a lot of people off---the fear that they will be separate, no longer belonging with everyone they know---and I think of something a guy named Ram Dass (formerly known as Richard Alpert, yes that one) wrote which was approximately that his brother was locked up in a psychiatric institution because he thought he was God whereas R.D. was free because he believed that everyone is g_d, and I suspect that Starbuck has suffered a lot probably even as a child, and that suffering is what made him believe he was separate and special so that even as his connection to g-d healed him, it cut him off from humanity, and this is what I fear about darkness is its cunning. For Starbuck to be the part of g-d that he is might indeed have involved special revelations, but g-d returns us to our humanity and to love or it becomes twisted, Luciferian. This is like the need to stay in alignment and ground the energy in action or it gets trapped in our heads and goes round and round and drives us crazy....

as some of you already know I belong to the anti-niceness brigade (although I TOO admit to enjoying niceness at times, it is rather like enjoying artificial perfume--- clouds the senses, suffocates, and can leave you downright queasy.)

in case you have been thinking of succumbing, here are a couple thoughts to ponder:
never do something to be nice--- if it is worth doing then there are better reasons for doing it.

And, from a brilliant supporter of the anti-niceness league who dropped by this week: Niceness is all about saving face, so you've gotta wonder, what are they trying to cover up?